Death Note to my Daughter

There are so many threats to our existence today and they bring me great anxiety at times. I struggle to stay positive but always try. When I first heard of the coronavirus, I felt panic set in. The worst thought that came to mind is the idea of losing loved ones and what may happen to my baby girl. This brought many bad memories back, that’s just how PTSD works—one negative thing can set off a string of traumatic memories. Not only does the thought of losing my daughter scare me, but what if she lost me before she’s old enough to even know who I am or what I want for her? I thought of how important it was for me to write something for her to help her along if this happened. I never really imagined how difficult it would be to write a letter to my daughter on the assumption that she may be reading it upon my death. Just thinking of what I would say brought a river or tears while at the same time bringing a sense of relief. There aren’t enough words to explain what I want for her but these are the words that immediately came to mind. I would recommend that anyone who can bare it, write a note for the loved ones that would miss you if you disappeared from the earth. What do you want to make sure they know if time should run out before you get to say it? Of course there are many people dear to me, some that would probably take my death harder than my daughter. I care deeply about them too and may even try to write something for each of them letting them know how much I appreciate them. This is the first and arguably the most important note of the series.

Be kind and gracious. Be grateful for everything and everyone you have. Show compassion and don’t judge others, only judge whether or not they should be in your life; If they are toxic to you don’t associate with them. Keep your mind and body healthy, learn about yourself and soak up every bit of knowledge offered to you. Strive to be exceptional but don’t be hard on yourself, everyone has faults. No one is better than you and you are better than no one. Love and respect yourself and don’t use substances as a coping mechanism—it’s ok to be sad or angry as long as you don’t let it poison your mind or control you. Learn to meditate and take control of your own future. Help others, there’s a perennial debate as to whether or not altruism/selflessness is possible or healthy, but ask yourself, “does it really matter?” Helping others and your environment is never bad. Set your core values and work hard to abide by them, they will inevitably change as you learn and grow and they are always an important part of life. Ask yourself if your values help you or hinder you. Always try to keep a positive frame of mind, this will help you tremendously. Some of the things I’ve said may seem redundant, that is because they bare repeating. I love you so much more than you can comprehend, you are destined to be amazing. Don’t ever feel guilty for being happy and use your losses to help others cope with theirs, I know you will have the courage and strength to be a leader. The most important thing to me is that you are happy most of the time and content (in general) all of the time. I will always be with you, I promise you that. 


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